Ain't Nothin' Wrong

Let's talk about movies for a second, and in a broader sense, art in general.

I have noticed just over the past few months that we, the modern day movie-goer, have become incredibly jaded and cynical. This thought originally occurred to me when i was telling my brother and father what i thought about Shutter Island, which i saw last night (however, due to its recent debut, i'll use a different movie for my examples so as to avoid any unintentional spoilers). During the conversation, i couldn't help but admit that, while a fantastically well made and well acted film, the story was rather unoriginal.

I really liked Shutter Island. Now let's talk about Avatar.

Avatar is Pocahontas in space. I'll be the first to describe it that way and i stick by that succinct and catchy soundbite. The basic story elements are profoundly simple and have been used in a myriad of other movies to greater or lesser effect. Go google the term "Noble Savage" and you'll find more reading material than you'd ever want to actually sit down and peruse in your life time. Yes, there were a few tweaks to make it an edgy sci-fi action film, but let's face it: Avatar is about humanity finding the primal beauty of the life of the noble savage.

Oh no! The story is unoriginal! How could James Cameron ever subject us to such drivel!? Boo hoo, cynic. In the words of King F**king Solomon, "there is nothing new under the sun". If you look deep enough and far enough back, a vast majority of current storytelling is just a retelling of something older than your grandpappy's grandpappy. Especially if you're watching anything that has the word "Epic" on the cover.

Why on earth, then, would this lessen our enjoyment of a good piece of Hollywood storytelling? Was there anything WRONG with Avatar? Apart from a few kitschy plot devices, the entire film was glorious in scope and its ability to evoke an emotional response. Did "Pocahontas" do that for ya? Than congratulations to James Cameron. He's a better storyteller than Disney. And that's really what it comes down to, folks. Think of someone you know who just tells a really good story. Have you ever been involved in one of their stories and insisted that they tell it just because they do a better job?

Story-telling is a tradition older than history and used to be incredibly important. In fact, before the invention of the written word, it WAS the only means civilizations had of preserving their history. Today, it is not a necessary position anymore, but has instead transcended into various mediums of art: books, movies, comics, songs. Don't get so caught up in the lyrics that you can't appreciate the melody.

The Reason

I am made up of equal parts Hopeless Romantic and Misanthropic Cynic. This causes me to often wonder on the nature of love and why it sucks so hard. I feel like the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

See, here's the problem i see with modern dating: romance is easy. Well, for me at least. Part of this is due to my inherent compassion and empathy and partly from my mother's rigorous training in consideration and listening skills. Women maybe illogically co mplex, but they generally have the decency to be consistently so. Tasteful displays of affection, little gifts, true emotive declarations; no girl doesn't like this stuff.

In high school, i was in a select Men's Ensemble. We would put on several concerts a year, participate in a couple different competitions, and generally spend a couple hours a week being really geeky. For fun, we once transposed and taught ourselves a moderately sappy love song to sing as a surprise for our friends and family at one of the year-end concerts. At the time, i was falling head over heels for a certain girl.

When the time for my part came, the rest of the guys softened to a background and i belted out the following lines:

"I don't care what consequence it brings

I have been a fool for lesser things

I want you so bad, I think you ought to know that

I intend to hold you for the longest time"

To this day, i have never sung anything more genuinely than those lines (although i admit, such a perfect opportunity rarely comes up). In true, corny romanticism, i didn't care about anyone else in the room; i sung only for her.

Such displays are beautiful, grandiose, and make great stories, but they mean approximately diddly-squat when it comes to maintaining a functional and healthy relationship.

My longest-lasting relationship spanned two and a half years. It took me exactly that long to realize that it wasn't going to work. The romance had died, and what was left were two people who thought they understood each other, trying desperately to hold onto a love for a person who no longer existed.

The butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling is delightful, but it never lasts. Disney movies are, sad to say, not real life. Years later, the grind of daily life and endless repetitions of once meaningful words render romance dead for all but a few sacred days of the year. It is the rest of the days that make up the actual relationship and it is the hours of those days that become Sisyphean in scope.

I believe in love. But i must acknowledge the horrible facts of life that so often make love seem like its not even worth the bother. I have determined, then, that the problem my Hopelessly Misanthropic personality has been forcing me to try to solve is a mystery, rather than a puzzle. You see, dear reader, all it takes to solve a puzzle is to find one piece to complete the picture. A mystery, on the other hand, requires a perfect understanding of all the factors, the influences, the intricacies, AND the missing pieces.

I hope to figure it all out before i die. Or get married. My wife deserves it.

To Every Artist I've Ever Known

Look for beauty wherever you go - in the mundane, the ugly, and the trivial.
Sing when the mood takes you, without regard for nearby critics.
Draw what you see, not what's there.
Listen to the rain, but don't ignore the sunshine.
Find the rhythm of the situation. Don't force yours' upon it.
Dance like you mean it.
Language is the tool: don't let it use you.
Create always.

Things I've Learned as a Geek: Theory #7

(this is a Note i put up on Facebook a while back that i thought i'd transfer over here for more easy reading)

The trading card game, or TCG, is a long-standing and time honored past-time among the geek community. I played the oldest and most respected of these, Magic: the Gathering, for about five years and would often spend hours perusing websites devoted entirely to theorycrafting and strategies.

As with most TCGs, M:tG is played using a deck of cards which you create out of your personal collection and pit against an opponent using his own personal deck. As of February, 2009, there were over eleven thousand unique cards to choose from, with 600 - 1,000 being added each year. This tremendous card pool creates an almost infinite number of possibilities for making a deck tailored exactly to your play-style or fanciful whim.

The challenge, then, is to make a deck that eliminates, to the best of your abilities, the randomness factor inherent to the game's rules. Each game is started with a seven card hand and a new card is drawn on each of your turns, so the likelihood of drawing exactly the card you need from your shuffled deck is dependent entirely on the construction of your deck.

This project is what makes a good player; a finely-tuned, 60-card deck will handily beat the 100+ card monstrosity that the kid down the street is always toting about with him. What makes a great player is the playing, or "piloting" of said finely-tuned deck.

The final effort in minimalizing the random factors of the game comes in playing your hand in such a way as to set yourself up for good luck. A short-sighted player will, when he finds himself in a bind, go all in, hoping that a final onslaught will be enough to secure victory. A more patient player knows that there exists in his deck a card that will save him; he only needs to survive long enough to draw it. This is what makes those "lucky draws", when they appear, seem so miraculous. They don't always show up, but when they do, the pro is fully prepared to take full advantage of the situation.

"Jeff, wtf are you talking about?"

It is impossible - short of holding a gun to the head of a person with a strong sense of self-preservation - to make anyone do anything. People, and situations, are outside of our control. The only variables we have any say in is our own actions. It is best, then, to live our lives so as to maximize our gains should favorable situations arise. We cannot count on Luck to come along and give us everything we've ever desired, but we can put ourselves into situations that increase the likelihood of us seeing it.

Play smart.

(Trev is tagged because he introduced me to Magic.
Tim is tagged because he taught me to play.
Nate is tagged because he was my punching bag in learning how to properly construct a deck. His usual strategy of throwing monsters the size of skyscrapers at my face left little room for error and made me quickly discover the holes in my stratagems.)

Step Off, O Ye Grinning Bastard

I am focusing myself.

Recently, during the in-between minutes of the night, right on the edge of my vision, i've been recognizing Depression rearing its dusty, smirking head. This is nothing new, but its been wonderfully absent in my life for several months now and i was just beginning to get used to a new status quo, emotionally.

Depression is nothing to get excited about 'round these parts; its just part of the family dark. A recently learned that i had a great aunt who stepped in front of a bus one day without explanation. Most of my extended family (on that side) has had at least a brief episode with depression and we generally come out of the experience all the better for it. But still, i suppose its never something to be taken lightly.

The important thing to remember about depression, for those who don't suffer from it, is that it is not just being very, very sad. Sadness is normal. Sadness is a sharp, localized pain that is easily targeted and dealt with. Depression, on the other hand, effects all areas of one's life and is, more than anything, exhausting. It drains your energy, your passion, and, if not overcome, your will to live. It is ennui to the Nth degree.

I have always been what i refer to as a "Depressive" personality. It is common for me to wake up one day and simply feel quiet, delicate, contemplative. Rainy days often provoke such moods and i do not shy away from them. Once, when i was younger, i questioned why "depression" got such a bad rap and decided to embrace and utilize the effects of such moods for artistic purposes. Several years, a short stint on Lexapro and a lot of experience later, i realize that my occasional dark moods and actual depression are two entirely different beasts.

This time 'round, i resolve to cut the beast off at the pass. I know his tricks, and i know his effects. I've seen him coming and i'm taking measures to make sure his arrival is a most unpleasant one.

You can't scare me any more, Mister What's-the-Point-Getting-Out-of-Bed. I broke your wrists last time we fought, and you'll not get hold of me or mine again.

You Spin My Head Right 'Round/Turn Turn Turn

Summer. Really, she's great. I have nothing against Summer, per se. She's warm and bright, energetic and affectionate. She gets so excited about even the most mundane things. Its hard to look at things in the same way you used to when you're around Summer. Vivacious to the extreme.
This is, of course, why i can't stand Summer. There's only so long you can take everything being "fun" before you kinda want to shove a beach ball down her throat. You know that feeling when you wake up in the morning, having slept poorly the night before, and have to deal with that person who is some how, some way, manage to be eternally, morbidly bubbly? That's what its like to deal with Summer all the time.

Autumn is a lovely girl. Spending time with her is soothing, comforting somehow. While not quite as "warm" as Summer, she's very friendly and genuine, and when she cares, you can tell. She loves life and trying to find the beauty in the world around her, especially when its a little harder to find.
Cynicism is my biggest complaint with Autumn. She's seen enough death and pain in her life that she has come to recognize it all around her. It is by its contrast, however, that she is able to truly appreciate the beauty in the cracks.

Oh, my dear Winter. Winter can find truth in chaos, beauty in garbage. Winter has infinite hope and infinite insight. She has seen the worst the world has to offer, and still gets out of bed in the morning.
Poor girl is easily given to bouts of depression. Too proud to be pitied, its best to just avoid her during such times; she'll be fine. She's strong and resilient. Its just that sometimes, you need a little attention, too, and Winter is not one to often give it.

Now Spring - Spring is a delight. You'd be hard-pressed to find someone who is more refreshing to be around. Her smile comes easily and effortlessly. Her manner is enigmatic, coy, yet somehow inviting; imparting the first clues to a wonderful journey of firsts. Spring reminds you what its like to be a kid again, just by going about her daily routine.
There's nothing wrong with Spring. And so, there's nothing wrong with her. But that's good, i guess.

Golden Rations

I really should have gone into some kind of mathematics. My father would be so proud.

The longer i live, the more i realize that almost every aspect of human existence lies somewhere on a giant bell curve. Having a shitty day? Start keeping a log and i will guarantee you that you have just as many crap days has you have really good days with a whole mess of mediocre days in between. Feeling like you never have any time? Turns out, a vast majority of your time is spent sleeping or working with only the tiny edges being devoted to the things you really want to be accomplishing. Think that person is a jerk? You're probably right.

Unfortunately for my father, an accountant of no small skill, my mind has never had a propensity towards numbers, so my recognition of these patterns lies almost solely in the sociological forums. After interacting with the hundreds of thousands of people in my life, it was almost inevitable that i'd start to pick up on the similarities within the intricacies. Human beings, like snowflakes, are unique; no two are completely identical. Like snowflakes, however, they all share a huge number of similarities. It is the beauty of the individualism that drew first drew me to my brief time studying psychology and the simple, logical nature of their similarities which makes them so easy to understand. Much like how i assume numbers make sense to my father.

"X" is still not a number, Dad.

Your personality can be plotted on a bell curve. The edges are the little minutiae which make you unique while the larger area you share with most other folk. Whether it agrees with the self-esteem programs we are taught in school or not, a huge majority of people will respond in a predictable manner when presented with a certain set of predetermined circumstances. It doesn't make you less of a person, i promise.

Stereotypes are generally formed because of the bell curve. Young kids are usually snotty. Old folk are often poor drivers (for a great many varying reasons). Babyboomers like The Beatles. Mac users think they're better than you. The trick, then, is to acknowledge that the edges of the curve exist and to give everyone you meet the benefit of the doubt. Don't assume. Use the Golden Rule.

I mention this, my reader friend, not to try and describe some great Truth that has been heretofor remained undiscovered. I am simply attempting to explain one of the ways i look at the world. One part of my Family Dark is a certain depressive nature which, while often lending itself to a lovely artistic bent, just as easily propels the sufferer in front of a bus. For me, i strive to make the world understandable. Once i ascertain a certain Truth about the nature of humanity or society or politics or physics or anime, i can become comfortable with it.

As Murphy once famously stated, 90% of everything is crap. There's not a lot you can do about it. Personally, i take comfort in that knowledge. Its just another fact of life to be dealt with or ignored as you see fit.

Always remember that its the 10% that makes life so amazing. Make the most of it.