Nicci

I quit smoking. A week ago, actually. I did this for two reasons, the first being that i'd developed a cough after a bout of flu (H1N1?!) a while back that just seemed to linger on forever. Thinking that perhaps my few years of regular smoke inhalation might be the culprit of the cough's continual presence, i prescribed myself at least one week of pure, unadulterated air. The second reason is much more dastardly.

You see, i've long been aware of the hazards of smoking. My mother - whose supernatural sense of smell can pick up four parts per million of cigarette smoke on your clothes from a week ago - has never excused this long-abandoned habit of her youth and raised her children accordingly. My grandmother has smoked a pack of Virginia Slims a day for the past 50 or so years. I spent 2nd through 12th grade in a conservative homeschooling group, completely devoid of any of the stereotypical, after-school-program antagonists that most parents fear so hard. Smoking has never been "cool" to me and i never tried it due to social pressure or a desire to fit in. I smoke because i enjoy smoking.

I say this as a preface to my assertion that i am not, and have never been, addicted to nicotine. I enjoy a cigarette in much the same way i used to enjoy a clove or a cigar. But since i smoke "cancer-sticks" instead of a good cuban, most people just flat out don't believe me. So to all of you who patronizingly told me that i was addicted and clearly too far deep into denial to recognize it, i present my past cold turkey, smoke-free week as evidence to the contrary and kindly ask you to commence shoving it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, i'm going to go roll up some premium tobacco in a little bit of paper, light it on fire, and inhale the delicious results.